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7 quick ways to achieve co-regulation this valentines day.

Feb 14, 2024

Valentine's Day is not only an occasion to celebrate romantic love but also an opportunity for parents of neurodivergent children to strengthen their connection through co-regulation. Co-regulation between parents plays a crucial role in creating a supportive environment for the entire family. In this blog, we'll explore practical strategies inspired by the Polyvagal Theory that are quick and easy to implement, promoting nervous system connection and emotional well-being.


Understanding Co-Regulation:
Co-regulation refers to the mutual influence and support parents provide each other to navigate challenging situations and regulate their own emotions. This is particularly crucial when raising neurodivergent children, as it enhances the couple's ability to face the unique parenting challenges together.

Quick Strategies for Co-Regulation:

Shared Mindful Breathing:

  • Set aside a few minutes for shared mindful breathing exercises.
    Inhale and exhale together, syncing your breath to create a sense of connection.
    This simple practice activates the ventral vagal state, fostering a calm and regulated atmosphere.


Daily Check-ins:

  • Take a few moments each day to check in with each other emotionally.
    Share your experiences, challenges, and triumphs as parents.
    This open communication builds understanding and strengthens the emotional bond between partners.


Non-Verbal Cues:

  • Develop non-verbal cues or signals that signify the need for support or a moment of connection.
    A gentle touch or a specific gesture can communicate reassurance and understanding.


Expressing Gratitude:

  • Express gratitude for each other's efforts in parenting.
    Acknowledge the unique strengths and contributions each partner brings to the family.
    Celebrate the small victories together.


Create a Relaxing Ritual:

  • Establish a brief, daily ritual that promotes relaxation.
    This could be enjoying a cup of tea together, listening to calming music, or taking a short walk.
    These shared moments contribute to emotional regulation and connection.


Prioritize Time Alone:

  • Recognize the importance of spending quality time alone as a couple.
    Schedule short breaks to engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation.
    These moments contribute to maintaining a strong emotional connection.


Team Approach:

  • Embrace a collaborative approach to parenting.
    Recognize that you are a team facing challenges together and celebrate joint successes.
    This mindset fosters a sense of unity and shared responsibility.

 
Prioritizing co-regulation within your relationship is a gift not only to yourselves but also to your neurodivergent children. By incorporating these quick and easy strategies inspired by the Polyvagal Theory, you as parents can enhance your emotional connection, providing a stable and supportive foundation for the entire family. This Valentine's Day, celebrate the strength of your partnership and the love that flourishes through co-regulation.

Have a great day (if you celebrate it and if not, co-regulate anyway!)

Kate xx